Word of the Post: "Toxic"

         
          It's been a while since I have blogged but hey, I only blog when I feel there's something I need to write about.

        Recently I have distanced myself from a couple people and well if you're one of those persons this post is not me being shady towards you at all. This is actually me thanking you. Sometimes you need people in your life who may not necessarily be the ideal friends (this may seem strange), but regardless they teach you valuable lessons. The older you become and go through certain situations you notice that everyone you may have been friends with before don't need to be apart of every journey of your life. There's nothing wrong with distancing yourself from people.

          I'm not saying people are toxic by the way, I actually am tired seeing that term. It's like that's all people know now! Toxic, toxic, toxic. What I am saying is if you realise though that you can only talk about people's business and all sort of other negative stuff with certain individuals, well sorry to break it to you that's not a friendship. Do these people know when you're sick? Do they care if you're sick? Will they randomly check up on you? Highly unlikely, it may be time to let them go. Nothing is wrong with that. Everyone isn't destined to be your friend.

          I've also decided to blog way more these days, when I do get the chance I should say, a girl be looking to be on dean's list, need that 3.6 and up. But in working with blogging more I intend to add a "cliché" quote to the end of each post.

"A false friend and a shadow only attend when the sun shines"- Benjamin Franklin

Carrie Berry

Obstacles

          Many times in life we are faced with situations that we may rather not be in. More often than not we ask ourselves "why me?" "what have I done to deserve this?". We have all had these times in our lives where we felt totally down and as if the entire world was against us. For those who may be religious, you may begin to question your faith, etc. We all go through these trying times, and sadly this is mine. I am convinced my world may be crashing right down. In my previous post I wrote on how I was VERY close to dropping out of UWI, but this too shall past. I shall now make UWI my bitch. I have enrolled in summer school and I will be doing EVERYTHING I can to be successful.
         
          There is NOTHING wrong with having to stop and restructure your life. Sometimes your initial path may not be the path for you, but you know what? You shall find your way ! These are obstacles, but you should see them as stepping stones and building blocks. These minor discrepancies make you grow as a person, after all this blog is on "adulting". Let all these things be lessons, nothing in life should be a mistake, if you may think it is, turn that into a lesson.

One Step at a Time

          This blog is entitled "Adulting" and the url says "The Ripening of Berry" , now it's time to actually get back on track with my theme. As my first year of university has been completed, I have faced some obstacles in my way that honestly, I have thought many times to just not go back for a 2nd year. Take some time off and then go back, this still is a thought. I guess we'll see what I decide to do, but currently I am in the frame of mind of taking a year off. Now some may think of this as me quitting, it really isn't. I think of it as me doing what is best for me. My program is EXTREMELY challenging, I LOVE maths but sometimes I ask myself "is it worth it?" This question I have been asking myself a lot recently. As I grow day by day I have come to realise that sometimes sacrifices have to be made. Maybe me taking a year off from UWI won't be a bad idea, but maybe it will be. I truthfully don't know. Many see me and always wonder why I'm always smiling, why am I always happy. Well truthfully that is far from the truth. Many times I sat in my match box and cried because the workload was overwhelming, it was too much and I quite frankly wanted to give up. Many times I called mummy and told her I want to come home. I'm still within the frame of mind to give up, well not give up but simply take a year off and get back into the groove. Guess we'll see what I decide to do in a couple of weeks to come.

Beauty?

Many people these days are struggling with fitting in, feeling comfortable within their own skin and just simply loving themselves. No matter who you are at some point in your life you have felt this way. A friend of mine who wishes to be anonymous wrote an AMAZING paper on this. After reading it and realising I can identify with it and many of you can, I took the opportunity to share her paper with you.

A.Nyomi.B

26^th March 2018

Meaning of Beauty

What is beauty? What makes her beautiful and not me? Can I change what I see in the mirror to look like her? These are a few of the questions racing the minds of many women today. As a consequence of the rigid, societal beauty standards many persons believe it is crucial that they have a certain body image or physical features to be considered beautiful. Many of us often critique ourselves or try to alter how we look to fit into society’s “ideal” beauty standards. However, we must learn to be comfortable in our own body.

Beauty standards are essentially “what society says is good enough.” According to an article in the Huffman Post newspaper, “the feminine beauty ideal is the socially constructed notion that physical attractiveness is one of women's most important assets, and something all women should strive to achieve and maintain.” The article further explains that as technology changes from generation to generation so does beauty standards. This statement is true, think about it? All around us are television shows, magazines and social media websites which influence many young girls to believe that they must change their body image (whether it is weight, hair, face, breasts etc.) to be “perfect.” So, when these media platforms change “the ideal beauty” so does society. Our society has instilled in some women that specific physical features are essential and since we are constantly judged on our appearance, many persons believe they must try to meet these social constructs.

           I once struggled with learning to love myself or trying to look “beautiful”.  A few persons would often lift my slender arms, wrap their thumb and middle finger around my wrist to measure the size of my arms. This was often followed by a comment such as “Wow, you are extremely skinny, you should eat more!” Other comments would include “I can see your collar bones and ribs, you need more meat on your bones.” Or “You would look better with more weight, a similar size to hers” while the person pointed at a magazine or screen. These scenarios are forever etched in my mind. After constantly hearing these words, I always felt that I was not good enough - the girl who was too skinny, had too much acne and not a perfect smile. I believed I needed to be slim but not TOO skinny, have a little weight but not TOO much, have curves, abs and clear acne-free skin and a pretty face. OH! and my hair, it was a bit “knotty” so it should fall on my back and not rise to the sky. However, after years of introspection, meeting girls who had   similar “problems” as I did and listening to songs such as “Pretty Hurts “by Beyoncé, I began to accept how I looked and I realized that I was perfect just the way I am.

The song “Pretty Hurts” depicts a girl who trained to be a pageant queen from the time she learned to walk, and it was always instilled in her mind that beauty is more important that brains. She always tried to a match a body type described as “Blonder hair, no flat chest, TV says bigger is better, South Beach, sugar free, Vogue says, Thinner is better.” To her this is what was perfect and even if she didn’t want to change she’ll just “pageant the pain away.” This song caused me to ponder on what is beauty, how did these standards evolve and what makes certain features more accepted than others. BUT as previously mentioned beauty is a social construct therefore what is beautiful to me may not be beautiful to you, it is all about your perspective. Therefore, it pains me that many young girls across the globe are struggling with something which I went through for many years (as it is a process). This is all due to rigid, societal standards. However, as technology is changing, and more people are growing up with a different mindset than in primitive times, physical features outside of the “ideal beauty standards” are becoming more accepted. For example, there are more plus-sized models than ever before, younger black girls and women are wearing their natural curls and afros in public spaces, television shows and showcasing it on social media.

        Melissa Victoria Harris-Perry is “an American writer, professor, television host, and political commentator with a focus on African-American politics.” In her blog post, television segments and YouTube videos she inspires black girls to be comfortable with their own hair. She has struggled with learning to love her “knotty” hair afro and even now she receives harsh comments from viewers who believe her hair should be more “neat” when she presents on screen. In her blog post “I remember Every Hairdo I’ve had in 40 years” she speaks about her hair journey. For her, growing up in predominantly white communities as a mixed child with hair which looked different and took time to manage; she always felt like she didn’t fit in. Eventually she relaxed her hair, so it can look like the other girls. She articulates in her blog post “Things changed in sixth grade when I started making my own decisions about my hair. I looked at magazines with pictures of predominantly white women at the time. I don’t think I found Essence magazine until middle school. I didn’t know that if I cut my hair, it would grow up, not down. So, when I thought I was cutting a bob, I cut a fro.” After years of having relaxer, she moved to North Carolina to attend Wake Forest University and she described the experience as “an absolute hair revelation” She reminisces stating “It was the first time I lived with other black women—14 to be exact—in a house centered on black women’s identity” and from that moment on she began to accept her hair and now she empowers young black girls to do the same. She constantly receives harsh comments about her afro or braided hair on social media however, she does not let that deter her from showcasing her black beauty.

Melissa Perry is a role model to many black females whether young or old and I applaud her for her work so far. This is what I hope to do, encourage black girls especially from a young age that they are beautiful despite what others think. As the song “Pretty Hurts” states “perfection is a disease of a nation”, a very contagious one as society’s beauty “ideals” are passed from one person to another through social contact, magazines, social media and television shows. Some people are mentally affected while others are not. However, we (as a society) must understand that beauty is seen from your perspective, it is unique, inculcates various body types, hair, skin color, heights and it goes far beneath the surface.

 P.S This paper does not belong me ! I give A. Nyomi.B all credit for this amazingly done assignment ! 

REX NETTLEFORD HALL PT. 2

          You've asked and I have delivered. Many people have asked me about Rex Nettleford Hall and I have come to realise that, there is no where you can find out about the hall really, unless you speak directly to someone.
           The hall is "supposedly" 800 students, Now, this number seems like a lot but let me break it down for you. There are 8 and a half clusters (I say half because Cluster 3, has only half the number of residents the other clusters have, therefore they have joined with C4 to be Alliance). Each cluster has a particular patron and colours associated with it.

          There are as follows:

• C1: Walter Rodney- Green,black and white. 
• C2: Simon Bolivar- Blue and white. 
• Alliance (C3 and C4): Marcus Garvey- red, yellow, green and black.
• C5: Jimmy Cliff- Black and yellow.
• C6: Louise Bennett- purple, yellow and white.
• C7: Samuel Sharpe- red and black.
• C8: Touissant L'Overture- red, blue and white.
• C9: Fidel Castro- blue and yellow.

Activities on hall:

          During orientation you will find HIDDEN talents, trust me ! There are fresher sports, debate, dance and drama. Enjoy your orientation period, it is a learning process.

           There will be activities on the cluster level also, take part in stuff for your cluster. You DEFINITELY should take part in stuff for your cluster. It is a way to bond with your clustermates. I can say that I have socialised with my fellow Samurais (C2) by taking part in various activities. Not only are there sports, but there is fashion, cooking, etc. There is something for EVERYONE.

          Now, on a hall level, there are intramural competitions, PLEASE take part in something ! It helps to get back your room, the next year. No hall wants anyone living there who would have done NOTHING for the hall. Personally, I have done sports I would have never tried in my life. Lord knows, if Stephie (current hall gcc) didn't live on my flat and had the CUTEST begging face, I won't have left my bed many mornings, honestly. Though I grumbled the many mornings she woke me, I still got up and represented my hall in whatever way I can.

          As a first year there is a special program just for you, this is known as First Year Experience (FYE). FYE, helps you to transition into UWI smoothly, there are sessions held every week and you SHOULD attend. Attend a DECENT amount of sessions and you have the opportunity of a special treat (I won't say, just go attend and see for yourself).

Meeting People:

          Living on hall is a good way to meet people. I am honestly not a social person but that was slightly broken out of me by living on hall. The people you live with have a lot to do with that. I am the ONLY first year on my flat and the YOUNGEST on the flat, so my flatmates consider me the baby of the flat, they actually gave me the name "Baby Bajan" . When living on Rex, you must understand that not everyone will have the same upbringing as you, see everything your way, etc. It is people from all over who are now coming together to live in a shared space.

          During orientation is a good way to make friends, talk to the other freshers from your cluster, interact with the other freshers, it may even help to talk to your orientation committee. These same people maybe able to help you with your journey as a first year.

Cluster Structure:

          Each cluster has 4 blocks. These blocks are listed as A,B,C and D. Each block has 3 levels, currently the males live on the bottom floor and the females live on the middle and top floors. When you are given your key, you will see a set of numbers, an example would be 5432, this means CLUSTER 5, C BLOCK, TOP FLOOR, ROOM 2. The numbers on the keys actually mean something.

Flat Structure:

          Each flat has 8 rooms, 3 bathrooms and 2 showers. A common area with a couch and 2 single seats along with a dining table. There is also the kitchen with one refrigerator, a stove and microwave.
With respect to cleaning, you do not clean your flat, there are cleaners hired to do that, you are however, responsible to keep your stove tidy.

          There is a study table with a chair (if you're all back like me take my foolish advise and buy a cushion for that chair), a closet and chest of drawers that can be moved also. Your room will have one adjustable twin sized bed, adjustable meaning the height of the bed can be changed and also the bed can be moved. You may store your groceries outside in the cupboard if you wish.You are responsible for the cleaning of your room. Yes, yes the rumors you heard of our rooms being small is true, but guess what your small room is just way too comfortable at times. 

          NOW TO YOU PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO KEEP A LOT OF NOISE, THE WALLS ARE VERY THIN! YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE HAVING A CONVERSATION AND YOUR ENTIRE FLAT IS HEARING YOU  ! I BEG YOU TRY TO BE QUIET  IN ALL YOU DO. I talk to my flatmate with both of our doors closed and we have conversations across the corridor... a word to the wise in ENOUGH.

This is all I can think of to say for night now with regards to the hall. If you have any questions feel free to ask me in the comments sections below and I will try to answer as quickly as possible. I currently have exams going on so I may take a while to reply, but I reassure you I will reply to any questions. 

I end by showing you the bond I have made with these lovely ladies who live on my flat. I will always have love for each and every one of them ! I hope as a first year you have an amazing set of flatmates, who will not only guide you as a new student of UWI, but will become your sisters/brothers as these young ladies have become mine ! 233 ! 

Letting go. . .

        Most of my posts are either about personal experience or something a friend inspired to write it. This post is friend inspired (S).

         Sometimes in life you KNOW that for your sanity and your wellbeing on a whole you just need to get rid of some things from your life, whether that being a person, a thought etc. You just know when some things aren't for you. When you realise you're getting more of a headache from a situation why are you allowing yourself to still be in the said situation? Is it worth your sanity ? NO, it isn't. Sometimes you are holding onto something simply because you are accustomed to it and it seems to have become a norm for you. NO. That should not be the case at all.

Some situations aren't worth your attention. Get over your pride and simply do what is BEST for you.You may think you're doing the best for whoever else it may be but you know what? SELF PRESERVATION IS KEY ! Study yourself first ! think is this working for me? AM I HAPPY? Answered no to any of these? You know what you need to do, get rid of whatever it is! Somethings you can sit and talk about what's bothering you but talking only goes so far. You talked and saw no results start running for the hills ! 

I KNOW letting go is hard to do, however, sometimes you just need to. Think about what the image is saying. 

"Don't let someone feel comfortable disrespecting you." - Some person on google. 

P.S I've hardly blogged because I am really trying to work on getting A's this semester. 

"Shoot your shot"

          Shoot your shot as defined by urban dictionary (funny I use this source but hey, they were the best one) is "To let go of your pride and pursue someone you are interested in." Let's take this a little bit deeper, shoot your shot with regards to anything, not just a person. 

       
         Life is too short to keep putting off what you really want to do. (I may be a bit hypocritical in writing this, but whatever Olivia!). If something is going to make you happy, then go ahead and do just that (I AM NOT ENCOURAGING YOU TO DO ANY ILLEGAL ACTIVITY). Seriously though, shoot your shot. So many amazing opportunities may await you but you'll never know because you're being too shy, watching your pride or protecting your ego. Whichever it is don't let any of these things stop you from setting out on the path you wish to be,-I AM SERIOUSLY not encouraging you to be reckless or indulge in illegal activity- 

Dedicated to Raquel ✨